My Garden ~ a Kiwi's take on life

Life is a lot like a garden


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Can There be Compromise on a Reality Show?

Compromise

 

Last night, life sank to new low. High evening temperature and humidity rendered us inert, too lethargic to think. TV remote in hand, Himself flicked through the viewing options until even that became too much of a chore and stopped at Channel 3. We were even too sluggish to turn to Netflix. And there we stayed, staring at the reality show, Married at First Sight Australia.

I do understand in this day and age why people might turn to Tinder and other dating apps in the hope of meeting a soul mate. But words fail me as to why people might enter such an unreal TV show.  “I’m looking for love,” we were told. Really. On this show? We heard participants say what they expected of a partner. Does falling in love involve ticking a checklist now? Couple mismatches seem designed to generate drama and TV show ratings if the meaningless dialogue and vulgar on-screen behaviour are anything to go by. It seems all so scripted and edited.

One camera shot showed a couple grocery shopping with her perched on the front of a supermarket trolley being wheeled by him. Get real. Did they not hear the store’s public safety announcements about safe trolley use? Buckle up. Use that child seat restraint. For goodness sake, set a safety example to the other kids in the store. The tedious dialogue and vulgar behaviour is so edited that misunderstandings happen. Stupefied, we watched on, forgetting that the Off-button was our best viewing option.

But MAFS participants acting out and acting up probably want their own 15-minutes of media fame or Instagram likes.  Himself could not get it that men would want to sit and endlessly talk about emotions or whatever. Their days seem tedious, lacking everyday things to do. Not a man-cave in sight. There are cute mid-shots of a MAFS husband cooking a romantic meal which his MAFS wife eats with one eye surreptitiously fixed on a text from a guy who stated at the commitment ceremony, that he wanted to leave his marriage. A melodramatic moment. Will they have an affair?  Who will get hurt? Meanwhile, who is doing the household chores? Who cleans the toilet?  This is real.  This is the nitty gritty small stuff of daily married life. No wonder MAFS couples want to unmarry after first sight.

Seriously, after fifty years of marriage, Himself and I know it is hard to give and take. There are no quick answers. Just do not not let the sun set on an argument. Words spoken at our own wedding service still ring true and included this timeless advice:

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no account of wrongs.

‘We’ comes before ‘I’ in wedding. It is all about ‘Us’. Each couple must find their own way to work together, to listen with an open mind, receptive to what their partner is telling them, to be willing to meet them half-way. As one MAFS wife said, “marriage is about compromise.”


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A Candid Kodak Box Brownie Camera Moment

Candid

Give parents a camera and they will snap their children at play. My sister and I sorted through a box of family photographs of everyday happenings. Children stay fore-ever young. Time and subject are stilled, memorialised in black and white. A Kodak Box Brownie camera moment to be candid.

Childhood Photo

Wearing Dad’s work boots while sweeping Grandad’s back yard

 


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My Garden ~ a garden cart

It’s always special to receive a gift. And no matter how many birthdays signpost life’s journey, the anticipation when unwrapping a gift never fails to excite. Himself lives by the mantra that good things come in small packages. And to be sure, he has lived up to the expectations of his mantra. This year, he’s excelled himself in the surprise stakes with his biggest, heaviest boxed gift ever. Tonight, I didn’t even come close to guessing what might be in this birthday wrapped package accompanied by an expressively worded card.

His gift: a steel, flat-deck, garden wagon with a pull handle, large pneumatic wheels for mobility and stability that has a maximum load capacity of 150kgs. Perfect. It’ll be great for so many garden jobs. Come to think about it, how did I manage all these years with a wheelbarrow?